Give this song a listen.
This song explains so much in my life right now. This is where I was, not even
6 months ago. I felt like I would try so hard, and then I would make a mistake,
or do not do what God was telling me to do. I just couldn’t shake it. I kept
trying to win on my own, and do everything on my own and I kept failing.
Finally, I surrendered it all to God again. Yes, I said again. I cannot tell
you, how many times I have surrendered my everything to God, just to pick it
back up again and try to do it on my own. It makes me want to go back in time
and yell at myself, “YOU CAN’T DO THIS ON YOUR OWN! HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE
TO LEARN THIS!” But this time its different. I don’t know how to explain it. I
honestly don’t even remember when this happened. I was probably in my car, on
the way to school, because that’s where God and I talk the most. But I just
feel so free! I have been changed! The old me, yeah, she’s gone.
Seriously, I think back to who I was just a couple of months ago even, and I
almost don’t recognize myself. Just about everything has changed. My thoughts,
my attitude on life, I think my personality has shifted a little bit too. I
mean really who would have thought that I, the one who used be afraid to pray
in front of a group, would get up and tackle two nights of youth??? Not me. I
figured that day would come, but I figured I would be older (although, some of
the youth do call me old…). I’m not
saying I’m perfect though. I still have my days, and my problems, but it’s a
lot easier to deal with when God is right there beside you saying, “Just give
it to me, I can handle it.” I’ve drawn the line, the old me is dead and I can’t
wait to see what God is going to continue to do with the new me. I know he is
brewing something. I can feel it in my soul; I just don’t know what it is yet!
I guess until he reveals it to me, I have to just wait patiently and seek him
more!