Twice in less than two weeks I have heard someone preach about
saying yes to God: The first time was Monday night at Fine Arts last week, and
the second time was on Saturday at the Tenth Avenue North concert. Why is it so
hard to say yes to God and surrender everything to him? It seems like such a
simple task. “Yes God, I want to follow you, I want to give you everything, I
want to do good and not sin” but then we recoil and say “No, you can’t have
that, I don’t want you to see that, I am too ashamed of that, etc, etc, etc”.
I feel like I have said yes to God over and over again. I give him all of me, but then somewhere down the line, I pick it back up again and hide it. I take it back from God, which is in essence telling God no. Last October I wrote a blog post that was inspired by the song Draw the Line by Disciple. The song talks about drawing a line between where the old “me” ends and the new “me” begins. I had come to a place in my life where I surrendered everything to God. Then, in December I wrote another post about how, between October and December, I had picked up the old me again and tried to do it on my own. But that’s not what I wanted. I had decided to give it all to God again. This line is taken straight from my post in December: “I mean everything. My hopes, dreams, desires, fears, doubts, everything.” I thought I was covered.
The first night that saying Yes to God was talked about I knew without a doubt that message was for me. My chest tightened and tears welled up in my eyes. I don’t know what God moments feel like to you, but this is what it’s like for me. So, of course, I prayed and told God that I wanted to say yes to him and do whatever he had in store for me. I thought I was covered. Little did I know, I was going to hear the message again five days later. I was standing at the concert with my sister on one side of me and my friend on the other side of me, and Mike Donehey starts talking about saying yes to God. At first I was like “Oh, yeah, I know all about this. We just talked about this on Monday, I’m good.” Boy was I wrong about that. My chest tightened again, but thankfully there were no tears. So, here I am in the same situation again. I just didn’t understand what I hadn’t given to God yet, what I hadn’t said yes to God about yet.
It wasn’t until later that I realized what it is. I can’t remember the exact conversation, but while in Florida last week I told someone that I loved St. Louis too much to ever move away. There was another conversation that I had when I was with Pastor Nathan and Miss Dawn about how she never thought she would end up in Missouri. My reply to her was “Remember how you said it would take God physically picking up and moving Pastor Nathan to Illinois to get him to move there? That’s what it’s going to take to get me out of St. Louis.” As I think back about that particular conversation, I remember feeling God nudging my heart as if you say, “Did you really just say that?” I feel like he was laughing at me a little bit too. He was probably up there in Heaven saying “Oh, you just wait and see what I have in store for you.” I think Miss Dawn even told me to be careful of what you say.
For me, moving away from St. Louis is one of the things that scares me the most. I love being close to my family and I love Restoration Church and all of the people there. Let’s be real, the two biggest reasons I stayed in St. Louis for college were the two things I just mentioned: my family and my church. I don’t want to let go of these things, but I HAVE to say yes to God. So, I have given it up! I laid it at his feet. I no longer have control over where God has me going in the future! I have to trust that he is going to send me where I need to go!
I feel like I have said yes to God over and over again. I give him all of me, but then somewhere down the line, I pick it back up again and hide it. I take it back from God, which is in essence telling God no. Last October I wrote a blog post that was inspired by the song Draw the Line by Disciple. The song talks about drawing a line between where the old “me” ends and the new “me” begins. I had come to a place in my life where I surrendered everything to God. Then, in December I wrote another post about how, between October and December, I had picked up the old me again and tried to do it on my own. But that’s not what I wanted. I had decided to give it all to God again. This line is taken straight from my post in December: “I mean everything. My hopes, dreams, desires, fears, doubts, everything.” I thought I was covered.
The first night that saying Yes to God was talked about I knew without a doubt that message was for me. My chest tightened and tears welled up in my eyes. I don’t know what God moments feel like to you, but this is what it’s like for me. So, of course, I prayed and told God that I wanted to say yes to him and do whatever he had in store for me. I thought I was covered. Little did I know, I was going to hear the message again five days later. I was standing at the concert with my sister on one side of me and my friend on the other side of me, and Mike Donehey starts talking about saying yes to God. At first I was like “Oh, yeah, I know all about this. We just talked about this on Monday, I’m good.” Boy was I wrong about that. My chest tightened again, but thankfully there were no tears. So, here I am in the same situation again. I just didn’t understand what I hadn’t given to God yet, what I hadn’t said yes to God about yet.
It wasn’t until later that I realized what it is. I can’t remember the exact conversation, but while in Florida last week I told someone that I loved St. Louis too much to ever move away. There was another conversation that I had when I was with Pastor Nathan and Miss Dawn about how she never thought she would end up in Missouri. My reply to her was “Remember how you said it would take God physically picking up and moving Pastor Nathan to Illinois to get him to move there? That’s what it’s going to take to get me out of St. Louis.” As I think back about that particular conversation, I remember feeling God nudging my heart as if you say, “Did you really just say that?” I feel like he was laughing at me a little bit too. He was probably up there in Heaven saying “Oh, you just wait and see what I have in store for you.” I think Miss Dawn even told me to be careful of what you say.
For me, moving away from St. Louis is one of the things that scares me the most. I love being close to my family and I love Restoration Church and all of the people there. Let’s be real, the two biggest reasons I stayed in St. Louis for college were the two things I just mentioned: my family and my church. I don’t want to let go of these things, but I HAVE to say yes to God. So, I have given it up! I laid it at his feet. I no longer have control over where God has me going in the future! I have to trust that he is going to send me where I need to go!
