Brokenness

In life, when something breaks we tend to throw it away and go buy another one. It gets thrown out with the trash. It is deemed as worthless. What about people? I see many broken people in my life, I’m one of them, but can we just throw people out because they are broken on the inside? Throw them in a pile because they are worthless? No, that would be inhumane and probably land you in jail. Broken people are not worthless. Broken people are valuable! It means they can be fixed.

A few nights ago, I was talking with one of my friends about not liking to talk about what I am going through and not wanting other people to know that I am a less than perfect Christian. Basically we boiled it down to us being broken, but we don’t like to look weak and admitting that brokenness makes us feel weak. Monday night while I was in prayer at church, we didn’t exactly have a plan of action, so I was praying restoration over the broken. During that time, God spoke to me. He said that brokenness is not a weakness, but being broken means he can use you.

Which brings us to today. I knew I would be writing a blog about brokenness, but I just didn’t have all of the pieces yet. While doing my morning devotions, the song Change My Life by Ashes Remain came on. The first words of the song are “I’m still awake tonight, broken up inside.” Let me tell you my head snapped up at that line. Immediately I knew this song was my missing piece! As I continued to listen to the song, and it spoke to me like it was written for me. I was able to hear the song in new light.

The next line talks about running, but not knowing where to go. When I start to feel that brokenness build up inside me, I don’t always run to Jesus like I should. If I’m being honest, a lot of the time I run the complete opposite way to try and fix my brokenness on my own. It doesn’t work; so don’t follow in my footsteps. Why do I run? Well, this goes back to what I said earlier about my brokenness making me feel weak. I don’t want to look weak to the people around me, but I especially don’t want to look weak in front of Jesus.

Here’s the thing. God said that He uses the broken, but if I’m running how can He use me. The easy answer is, He can’t. In my running, I’ve learned that I eventually get to a place where I’m so far away, that I can’t see God anymore. I look up one day and realize that God isn’t walking next to me anymore and I call out to him asking where He is and why He’s left me. I’ve been scolded on many occasions. He says, “I never left, you did.” That’s not an easy pill to swallow.

This brings us to the next verse of the song. It talks about knowing that Jesus can fix our hearts and realizing we don’t have to run anymore. Duh! I never had to run! If I just ran to Jesus in times of trouble, He could work on my heart and use me to help others!

The chorus talks about all of the things God can do, like making the dead man come alive, or the oceans all run dry. If God can do these things, then why couldn’t He change our lives? He can! We just have to be willing and ready!

My prayer for you, and for me, is that we stop running from God and run to Him when we feel broken. Brokenness doesn’t mean you are worthless. Brokenness doesn’t mean you are weak. It just means that God wants to use you! Let Him!!